Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Fear will Cripple you....

I have always struggled with fear and worry. In fact, I worry about the silliest things. Big or small, it doesn't matter, I still fret! God has always taken care of me, so why do I forget that so easily? Fear can literally cripple you and it can also cause you to make hasty decisions that you are not happy with later. Case in point....yesterday afternoon I had to teach my two classes and I knew the weather was supposed to get bad, but according to the weather it would happen after I got home. I went off to the studio ( after Mere begged me not to ;) ) and started teaching my first class. I only had about 5 of my 13 students but I carried on. During the middle of my class, one of the mothers burst in and told me she was taking her daughter because her husband had called and said the weather was about to get really bad. Well from that moment on, fear gripped my heart. Did I trust? Did I take a moment to pray and ask for wisdom? Sadly, the answer is a big fat NO! I was useless at that point. Thankfully the 4 remaining girls were happy to flit around the studio with scarves ,while I glanced out the window every few seconds! We finished the class and I quickly prayed that no one would show for my next one. Much to my dismay there were about 5 of 13 again. The secretary asked me if I wanted to cancel and I literally could not think straight. She was wanting to get home too, but I just couldn't decide! In fact, a dad that had dropped off his daughter just stared at me like I was a nut job! We decided to cancel and I do believe that he was extremely irritated with me as he shook his head in disbelief! I made it home and do you know that the weather was fine until about 6pm. I would have been fine teaching my class and then driving home! I was so frustrated with myself. When will I learn to not make hasty decisions? When will I learn to just relax and TRUST? I will let you know when I can answer those questions! ;)

3 comments:

Christy said...

Oh, girlfriend I am right there with you.

In heaven we will look back on this and laugh. At least I hope we will!!!!!

Kearsmom said...

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't take Banana to her jazz class over here yesterday either. Her ballet classes were already cancelled (I think more for the exhaustion factor than the weather, but hey, sure was convenient).

And you aren't the only one who lets worry get the best of them.

Diane said...

Well...if the weather was that scary, then I think you did the right thing. What if it had started storming earlier and you were stuck at the studio away from your children, etc...I think the end result was perfect.

I am a little bit of a worry wart...I am really trying to pray through this issue of mine, it really holds me back a lot, and I know that not what He wants for me.